Confessions of a demented housewife: the celebrity year

Before Reading My Private ‘confessions’ Please Bear In Mind The Following: My Husband Joe And I Are Soul-mates. Nothing – Including A Smouldering Lone Father Or Joe’s Teeny Mid-life Crisis – Could Ever Come Between Us. (hopefully He Won’t Find Out About Smouldering Lone Father’s Sexed-up Expose Of Our Secret ‘affair’ Last Year.); Offspring Katie And Jack Are Well-adjusted And Happy – Even If Jack Thinks He’s A Dog And Katie Wants To Be A Pussy Cat Doll; Vbf Louise Makes New Motherhood Appear Unnaturally Glamorous. It Simply Isn’t Normal To Fit Back Into Size Zero Jeans So Soon After Giving Birth – And I Have The Jelly Belly To Prove It; And, I Did Not Cynically Engineer My Close Personal Friendship With Celebrity Mom Angelica Law Just To Get Invited To Red Carpet Events. The Whole Newspaper-paparazzi-telly Thing Was Not My Fault – I Can’t Help It If I’ve Got Star Quality In Bucket-loads, Can I?note: The Publisher ‘borrowing’ My Diary And Printing Its Contents Does Not Amount To A Confession. My Arm Had To Be Twisted Very Hard… Niamh Greene.